What is confidence? Is it something you are born with? Is it how others think of you? Or is it how capable and deserving you think you are? Many people struggle with low self-confidence, and some with no confidence at all. This is not a good mental state to be in because when you don’t think you can do something, that mentality will reflect in your actions and you will end up not doing that thing, feeding the loop of low self-confidence. Here’s how we think one can boost self-confidence, and taking control of the mind and surrounding is an important part of it.
SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM
Self-confidence and self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. While they do overlap in their meaning and intent, they are different qualities. Self-esteem is more synonymous with self-respect and an overall sense of worth a man has about himself, about what he deserves and about what he can achieve. On the other hand, self-confidence is having faith in one’s abilities to achieve a result. And as such, confidence can be specific and tied to a field. You may be confident about your public speaking ability, but not so much about running. Calling a person confident as a personality trait is quite a misplaced term, therefore. However, you may have faith in your ability to do whatever it is you set your eyes on, in which case self-confidence can be called a personality trait while keeping it close to its definition. And frankly, this last statement is all that matters. Having self-confidence is half the battle won, and the other half comes from preparation that is fueled by this very confidence.
“The strongest factor for success is self-esteem. Believing you deserve it, believing you can do it, believing you will get it.” – Buddha
HOW TO DEVELOP SELF-CONFIDENCE
It is as it is not easy to achieve success in today’s competitive world, and a lack of self-confidence is the last thing that is going to help a man move forward in life. Focus on the small things, stick by them and slowly develop your confidence. Treat it as a game of the mind, where with small reinforcements you slowly trick your brain into believing it can achieve big results.
As trivial as it may sound, a shower relaxes the muscles and calms the mind down and clean appearance and clothes gives an impression of things under control. It is amazing how this simple daily routine can set you in the right mood to start the day. Feeling presentable is an important part of feeling good about oneself.
Use the power of thoughts
It is said, that you are what you believe, and what you believe you attract. If Olympic athletes can use the power of vision, where they imagine themselves winning, to achieve their goals and stay motivated, so can you. Keep negativity, naysayers and panic away and only think about what you want, why you want it and how you can work towards it. If you don’t stay positive about your life, don’t expect others to. For those who find it difficult to ignore the clutter inside their mind, give meditation a shot. It takes time to get the hang of it and start doing it properly, but it will be worth it.
Keep distractions away
It is so easy to get distracted these days that we don’t even realize it when it’s happening. Sometimes we clearly know we need to give an activity only 15 mins a day to be good at it, but still the lure of getting distracted takes over. Practice will make you good, which will make you confident, and this confidence carries over to other activities in life too. So, if the path is that easy that you know what to do and how to do it and it doesn’t even take a whole lot of effort, then its better to not ignore it. Every small thing you become good at gives rise to a well-rounded confident personality.
Be true to yourself
Get to know yourself very well. It’s only when we are truly aware of our limitations, strengths and weaknesses, we can harness our energy in the right manner. Show a brave face to the world, but be well aware of what it is that makes you feel under confident and fear so that you can find a way to deal with it. As goes the saying, fake it till you make it; be aware of what it is you are faking today and how to stop doing that one day. Dishonesty with one’s own mind can never lead to success.
The heart and soul of being confident lies in it. Prepare as much as you can, for whatever it is you are trying to conquer and then let the other forces of destiny do their work. Unless you feel sure you have done everything to achieve that goal, it will show in your confidence and performance.
Be good to receive good
For those who believe in the power of karma, or action and reaction, being good and generous gives a kind of just confidence. You start believing that you will get what you want, because you deserve it, because you didn’t do anything wrong in the process of achieving it, and because goodness will be rewarded by the universe.
HOW TO INCREASE CONFIDENCE
Sometimes people are confident, but not all the way. It is easy to shake them up, dwindle their belief and make them question their ability. What is needed at this time is a way to be confident about feeling confident, that the confidence inside is not unwarranted, it is not baseless and to feel convinced that it has enough evidence in its support. In short, low confidence can have a technical way of dealing with it. No matter what others say, you have to work on improving your self image.
Correct your posture
How others behave with you depends on how they perceive you. Keep your chin high, shoulders strong and spine straight. If you can’t exude confidence and look slack, expect that to reflect in how others treat you. Looks can be powerful, as we all know.
Set small goals
Start by setting small, achievable goals and sticking to achieve them for a month. No matter how easy they are, just seeing yourself fulfilling what you decided to do is a powerful motivator. Start with a new habit you always wanted to develop, and that fits in easily in your routine and do it without fail for a month. This will make you feel good about yourself and give the confidence to move on to increasingly difficult tasks. Just take it step by step.
Set aside time for practice
For things you want to be good at, you have to practice them daily. There is no other way around it than to set aside some time dedicated to it. It is tough in the beginning when you are not yet good at it, but once the learning picks up the feedback loop of feeling good and learning more will keep you going and motivated.
This thing pops up in every list related to mind and wellness, and that is no surprise. It is well established that exercise effects the brain chemistry in a way that reduces anxiety and depression, leaving more scope for you to fill it with positive thoughts and focus on actions.
A well read man is a well respected man. Having knowledge gives you confidence that you know things and can deal with them. It makes you capable of forming connections, initiating conversations and other occasions where it might be required to network with people and need you to come up with topics for small talk. So make good use of internet and read a lot. Confident men are constant learners.
As a bottomline, mastery in a certain area is what you are seeking when wondering about how to boost confidence and sadly there are no shortcuts around it. All other points listed above will prepare your mind and environment for you to attain that perfection that will only come by dedicating time to that practice.